Dear Giant Evil Soulless Corporation,
It’s over. I’ve taken my Twitter account and my Facebook profile, and removed you from my followers and friends lists. I’ve even changed the locks, so don’t bother sending me another request.
You can have AOL and the blog. No one read that anyway because you kept talking about yourself. I’ll find another one.
I suppose you might be wondering why.
It’s not me, it’s you.
Every time I’ve discovered a way to communicate that’s interesting and unique, something that lets me learn and share things, you’ve invaded it. Or at least tried to.
Remember Email? I used to be able to talk to my friends with that, communicate with people across the world. Now I get to see my inbox filled with this week’s, “BIGGEST SALE EVER!!!!!!!!” . You know how I sometimes unsubscribe from your list? That’s the same as me hanging up the phone in your ear. It doesn’t give you permission to leave half a dozen voicemails telling me to call you.
How about Instant Messaging? That was great, back in 1999. Before you came on the scene, and thought it would be great to send me the latest celebrity gossip updates every 5 minutes.
In fact, you’ve even made it harder for me to start other relationships in the future. Now, every time I see “Follow us on Twitter!” I’m going to think of you, with your thoughtless tweets, and selfish Facebook updates about your latest consumer item you are positive I can’t live without.
The next poor sod who wants to start something special with me is actually going to have to work at it. I’m going to be distrustful, aloof. They’ll have to prove to me that they really care. That I’m not just their latest follow. Even coupons won’t cut it…
…actually
Perhaps I should be thanking you. Now, I won’t be sucked in by a smile and, “Soulless Inc. is now following you!”. When someone takes the time to show me that I matter, I might just see it as an opportunity, something special.
Who knows, I might even buy something from them.
P.S. No, we can’t still be friends.
